With the recent anniversary of Queen Elizabeth II’s passing and the immediate ascension of King Charles III to the throne, there has been a lot of cheap internet chatter over who the “real” Queen Consort is: His deceased ex-wife or his wife. The obvious and true answer is that it is Queen Camilla, the woman who was coronated with him earlier this year. But pearl-clutching fans of the deceased Diana claim that Lady Di should be the Queen Consort. These are not fans who love Lady Diana; these people are behaving like abusive parents who put their A-list, cash-cow, adult child in a conservatorship so they can control her. Yes, Diana is being Britney Spears’ed by people around the world who are in a parasocial relationship with her.
Why are Diana’s unofficial, self-appointed “conservators” speaking as though they have the right to strip her of any agency in her life – the right to make decisions that do not affect others? She was a grown woman with no physical or mental limitations that impaired her ability to make decisions for herself. What makes people think that Diana should be a conservatee and that they should be the ones making the decisions for her, a person who they have never met? And why do those people have the right to make her stay in a marriage that she wanted out of? Diana had the choice to get a divorce and she chose that route. Both she and (then) Prince Charles were in an unhappy, arranged marriage. They have both admitted to bringing other people into that marriage. So why not let them get a divorce? Why not let them move on and be happy?
Would these Diana fanatics ever wish it on a person they know (in real life) to jump into an arranged marriage with a spouse they had met only 13 times in person before the wedding? Add to that an age and maturity level difference. Would fans wish that this couple stay together after both have admitted to affairs? And would they advise a loved one to decline a divorce because if they hang on 27 years longer they would get a pretty crown, throne, ceremony, and title??? If we wouldn’t wish an unhappy life and a drawn-out miserable marriage on people who we know and care about, what gives us the right to declare that public figures (with whom we have no personal or professional connection) should stay in such relationships? Is it worth Diana’s unhappiness that her “conservators” get to see her on the throne because that’s what they want for her?
Charles and Diana got a divorce. This allowed them the freedom to see their lovers without the scandal of adultery. They both found happiness with others. Let Diana rest in peace without having people around the world essentially telling her that she made the wrong choice in agreeing to a divorce. Let her rest in peace without acting like she was incapable of making personal decisions like getting a divorce. Let her rest in peace rather than wishing that she stayed in an unhappy relationship just so she could eventually become the Queen Consort. Are a title and prestige worth more than her happiness?
These conservators are not the super-fans they view themselves as. They are not Diana loyalists. They are hypocrites who overlook that King Charles III and Queen Camilla did nothing that Diana didn’t also do. Did Charles and Camilla have an affair – yes, they did. Did Diana have affairs while married – yes, she publicly admitted to two affairs. Why is it unforgivable for one party but not for the other? Why villainize the other woman but give Diana’s other men a pass? [Is it considered male privilege when there’s a double standard that deems it acceptable for men to step into this royal marriage???] Why not just be happy that Charles is getting to spend the rest of his life with someone whom he loves, and Diana got to spend the last few years of her life as she wanted? Although her life was cut short in a horrific and tragic manner, at least Diana had some time after the divorce to live her life; that’s more freedom than she would have had if she was stuck in a mutually unhappy marriage.
Diana’s stans need to respect her decisions. They need to quit the pearl-clutching, drop the double standard about infidelity, and move forward with their lives. Diana and Charles moved on with their lives, hopefully, these folks can move on and mature beyond being in a parasocial relationship with Diana – a relationship that exists only in their heads.
Janice MacGregor 